To London, to London.

My youngest is off, she's saved all her pay,
and Europe is where she will holiday.
But first it's to Vegas and other parts U. S.,
so keep your eyes peeled, for my sweet darling, Jess.

To London, to London, she'll go after that,
I hope she enjoys it, remembers her hat.
As its summer up north, and winter down here,
take out her sunblock, on her nose with a smear.

She's going with boyfriend, his parents, as well,
the time here without her will be just like hell.
Though I have to agree that at her age, I would,
be gone like a shot, I promise I would.

With a short time in England, it's then off to France,
she'll see lots of things, perhaps Ladies dance.
The Seine, Eiffel Tower, maybe Moulin Rouge,
no matter what, she'll claim it was 'huge'.

Then down to Greece, for fun in the sun,
I hope it's still open, with their financial run.
She'll learn how to say things, like poli-kala,
endaksi is OK, which won't get her far.

Dubai is the last stop, on her way back,
see reclaimed islands, well, that's quite a knack.
She'll be gone seven weeks, it'll seem like a year,
I hope that volcano, will keep the skies clear!

Bob - May 2010

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Independence Day

For quite a while, feeling crook, I often got winded, reading a book.
Couldn’t golf, without pain & strife, I thought I had better tell the wife.
“What’s wrong?” she said. “Strange?” I thought, “Does she really care!”
“It’s pain!” I said, “Oh? ” she said, with a non-committal stare.

I saw the doctor, and asked, “What’s wrong? Is it a dried-up socket?”
He looked at me – “Your shoulder’s fine! How much is in your pocket?”
“Why?” I said. “I’ve Private Health, - their benefits to share!”
“That’s good, in-part, 'cause it’s your heart! It’s showing lots of wear!”

“You jest, my friend! I’m forty-five, can’t be my bloody ticker!”
But, as I said it, odd , I know, I was feeling somewhat sicker.
“To hospital, with you, and bloody quick! I’ll call the ambulance.
If you’re not there soon, it’s trouble, mate, you haven’t got a chance!”

“Good luck!” he cried, “I’ll phone ahead, and say you’re on your way!”
Off I went, my life’s been spent. - My Daughters! What do I say?
The 'Doc was quick, I felt no nick, my good wife standing there.
I felt confused, I always do! “- Did she really care?”

Before I knew it, I was out, a row of stitches to talk about.
I was in the ‘groove’, no pain at all - until I tried to move.
The pain was indescribable! It took my breath away.
“The medicine’s not effective, 'Doc, - in any bloody way!”

Three days gone and I’m out the door! “Where the hell am I going?”
“Home!” She said. “Oh!” I asked, “You've done the weeds and mowing?”
With little time to reflect on things, I was instructed by the wife,
“You’ve got to do your exercise. Get fit, back into life!”

At ten days out, and walking lots, I was losing heaps of lard,
- twelve miles a day, and more each week, it wasn’t very hard.
At the end of June, two months had gone, since ‘operation day’,
she begged of me, quite earnestly, “- Please , just go away!”

“Goodbye!” she said. “Why?” I said, “I’ve been so good to you!
I’m better now, and not as stressed. You do look good in blue!”
“Too late!” She yelled. I couldn’t hide, my anguish for a second.
“You’ve turned into an invalid, on that, I did not reckon!”

After sixteen years, there were lots of tears. Has she shed one, yet?
I was filled with grave concern for kids, and, “Did we have a pet?”
July, the fourth, Fernando came, to help me move away,
but, to my chagrin, he smiled and said, ‘It’s Independence Day!’

Bob - Aug. 2000

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Dog Training

"Give me a break?" – I'd say to the dog, "You've dirtied my floor!", - My mind's in a fog.
She looks at me shyly, and dips her sweet head, probably wishing that I'd stayed in bed.

I take her to paper, I make the right noise, I'm beginning to lose, my masculine poise.
You'd think she could see what a world it would be, if she used the newspaper, just to please me.

I feel like a dummy, she does tricks for Mummy! She often rolls over, I'll scratch her fat tummy.
But go on the paper? You've got to be joking - she does it on purpose! - My furnace, she's stoking.

She can sit up and beg, my wife taught her that - I can not get her, to sit on a mat.
I know she is female, just to confuse me, I'm sure that she once said, 'Dad. Please excuse me'.

It's not that I'm stupid, or lacking in tact, I've read all the books, and that is a fact -
I think it's because, the dog doesn't like me - I didn't buy it, so it doesn't surprise me.

Now, a woman expects, money be spent, not just to pay, for food and for rent.
Her loyalty lies, with the parent who buys -'Trinkets' and 'Squeakies'! - Important supplies!

I found myself begging, that she 'go' on the paper. I'm sure that to her, it was a grand caper.
She frolicked about, 'til I threatened to clout. She was honing frustration, I'd soon let it out!

She runs me around, and then goes to 'ground'. Her smile was a strange thing to see.
I knew in an instant, she'd figured me quickly. She at two months, and me, five and fifty!


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Ten Thousand Bars

I was with my friend, Fernando, in Singapore, one day,
he was kind to me, and generous, too, in an odd, old fashioned way.
He didn’t wish to prosper once, from helping out his mate,
just told me, “…go to Thailand, pal, the bars will compensate!”

Off I flew - ‘Royal Orchid’, caught a taxi to the hotel,
I checked my bags, and checked the room. I showered in a second.
A goddess at the Reception, gave me greeting, 'wai' and smile,
I couldn’t tell if I was man, or four-fifths crocodile!

Her long black hair, and pearly teeth, I couldn’t take my eyes off,
if the tariff was a million quid, it would not have been a rip-off.
When blood flowed back, I became aware, and saw what I was doing,
- standing there, with mouth agape, I thought I’d best get moving.

I asked this angel where to go, to have a few quiet ales,
she directed me to left or right, her hands had long red nails!
If this is what the girls are like, in Krungthep, known as Bangkok,
I’d spend the rest of my time right here, so I headed down to Asoke.

I walked a bit, I rode tuk-tuks, and took in all the sights -
ten thousand bars - and all with girls! What fabulous delight!
I went to steamy Sukhumwit, to drink in ‘Soi Cowboy’,
I had a mate, who owned some bars, his counsel to employ.

Where to go, and what to do, and did he know the way?
Steve, my mate, said, “- Don’t rush, too much! You’re on a holiday!
Ten thousand bars and all with girls, one cannot go too wrong, mate!
Just make sure, you don’t get drunk, and dare to tempt your fate!”

At last I was, in seventh heaven - an Aussie, out for fun,
what did I do, for fifty years, under the Australian sun?
Two wives, two kids, and mortgages - enough I could not earn,
fair-weather friends, who bled me dry, nowhere to bloody turn.

To keep remaining sanity, to milk a few more years,
I’d pack my bags, to find somewhere, and have a few quiet beers.
So, thanks, Fernando, thanks 'ol mate! I’m forever in your debt,
ten thousand bars, and all with girls! I might turn 60, yet!

Bob - 2002


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The Floating Markets

It’s raining , it’s pouring , imagination fecund ,
we’ve booked and we’ve paid , no chance of refund !
We awaited the Mini-Van , along Khao San road ,
- to board the damn thing , I needed a goad !

“The markets are beautiful , you’ll be glad that you went ,
you’ll be very pleased , with the money you’ve spent !”
So , I sat with my girlfriend , we sat in the back ,
- ‘til we finally arrived , at Damnoen Saduak !

The Floating Markets are incredible to see ,
it’s as though they are sitting right there , on a sea .
It’s a big river system , with channels and dykes ,
- with long-tail , speed boats , and no motorbikes !

We climbed into one , had to sit at the back ,
then powered on down that watery track !
The spray from the speedboat was worse than the swell ,
I’m glad that we carried , a ‘brolly , as well !

Of course , they took us , to a central location ,
from where we could mingle , amid total commotion .
I saw , carved wooden statues , and 3D wall hangings ,
the artistry of which , would leave your chin dangling !

There’s fruit of all sorts , all laden in boats ,
the weight made me wonder , how they all stayed afloat .
I tasted a few kinds , then I tasted some more ,
I couldn’t believe the varieties galore !

I gave lunch a miss , I was too full to move ,
I stayed with the shopping – I was well in the groove .
I stood and I watched , as a fellow did carving ,
his talent suggested – he would not be starving .

The 3D wall hanging was out of this world ,
- a scene from the forest , with trees that were burled !
Elephants and people were carved in relief ,
this man had blessing , from the gods - in a brief !

The close of the day came too fast in the end ,
I was pleased with the trip , and I will not pretend .
The Markets are great , and although I got wet ,
I’ll be back again next year , and that is a bet !

Bob - Jun. 2002


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